The words are still resonating in his mind like a distressing echo which never goes off. He can’t sleep, his breathing rhythm is alarmingly rising, he is afraid he is having another panic attack! Sam is badly sweating and feeling cold… this is not the first time and probably will not be the last one. His wife is sleeping next to him, totally unaware of what is happening. He tries as much as he can not to make any noise that can upset her peaceful sleep.
It all started a few months ago during one of his business trips, he met Carla by accident and love stroke him at once. All of a sudden he felt seventeen again, where nothing really matters and where things are done for the fun of it and not because you have to. He was able to daydream, to be spontaneous, with no worries for tomorrow.
He is a forty-seven years old man who used to go through life doing always what was expected… waking in the morning, having breakfast, going to work, back home, dinner with the family, then go to bed not too late so tomorrow he can do exactly the same. He thought everything was fine, that in his own way he was a happy man, had dreams to pursue (when he retires), a good job, wife and children...
Meeting Carla was a wakeup call, the realization that he was buried alive and that he has been his own burier. But, then the guiltiness outdid him: “How could he do that to his wife and children? What will others think and say of him? Will he be considered a good Christian? Will God open the doors of heaven for him?
He said goodbye to Carla and went back to his monotonous life ready to do the ultimate sacrifice and do what was “correct”. Since that day he disguises his unhappiness with the stress of a very demanding job, but at night the naked reality comes to life to whisper in his ear… “This is your life, live it!”
© 2009 Gabriela Abalo - Author
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