Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Paradox of Fear



Opportunities are what we make out of the circumstances surrounding us; they don’t come into our life broadcast on flashing billboards, we have to create them. At this very moment our life is full of opportunities, all we have to do is to take the chance and go for them, without looking back.
We tend to hesitate whenever a new door opens in front of us, presenting the chance to try something different. The fear of the unknown freezes us; just the thought of leaving our comfort-zone blocks our nature and immediately switches the “security button” to protect us from any collateral damages. Our very well trained brain raises all the possible alarms we can imagine, and immediately starts telling us: “You don’t stand a chance, this is not for you! You must be crazy if you are thinking on risking everything to follow a dream! What if you lose everything?”
These thoughts and many others populate our mind, convincing ourselves that we are better off doing what we already know than trying something else. We keep reminding ourselves that we can’t afford to daydream, losing the perspective and taking a chance of doing something that is not worth the risk. As a result we choose to keep walking through the paths we already know, the ones that don’t scare us or threaten our self-esteem, even if that means living in discontent.
Naturally we are inclined to believe that things will not work out, paradoxically it will take the same amount of energy and faith to believe the opposite, but instead we choose to trust our fear.
How can we accomplish the realization of the self if we are followers of fear?
Fear blocks our possibilities of becoming who we can be, since we allow it to grow bigger than our faith in ourselves. How can we do that to ourselves? How can we allow that False Evidence Appearing Real to take over and decide who we are?
Isn’t transformation the foundation of our own existence? Can we transform without embracing risk and change?
To be alive is to be fully present in the now, aware of the chances we are holding in our hands and acting on them. To be alive is to dream, believe, transform, experiment, love, to have faith as well as doubts, it is also to be afraid and above all to find the balance in between all of them.
Experiencing fear is a reminder that we are alive, fear should be embrace and let it be, we need to feel it and face it, but we do also need to have faith in ourselves and the courage to transform.

“There is much in the world to make us afraid.
There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.”
~Frederick W. Cropp

Today, now, exactly at this moment do something you have been postponing for a long time. Don’t be afraid of making a mistake or failing, just follow you heart, listen to it and let things be; bear in mind that failing doing something we love is much more worthy than succeeding in something we hate.
Today, now, exactly at this moment tell your comfort-zone: “I’m leaving…”

“Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...
initially scared me to death”
~Betty Bender

© 2010 Gabriela Abalo

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21 comments:

Kass said...

Gabi - How did you know I was facing something I need and want to do, but I'm afraid. The timing of your post was perfect. I went to a workshop here in Salt Lake where Gary Zukov gave us those words to the letters in FEAR. They fit perfectly. Thanks for the reminder.

Nyawira said...

FEAR is part and parcel of our everyday life the key however is to not let it rule your life!!! Very inspiring

Gabriela Abalo said...

@Kass,
I hope after reading my post, it gave you the needed push to shake the fear out of you and go for that thing that your are afraid of.
Go for it, give it a try, and remember that the worst thing that can happen is that you will realized that it wasn't meant to be.. but you will also have the answers for the what, may and could have happen if….
I found those words of FEAR while searching for something else, since I read them I wanted to write something about the subject… I guess that is what inspired me to write the post.

@ Nyawira,
Welcome to the blog, I’m so happy to see you in this little corner.
Fear is to be embrace, but as you said it should not be allowed to control our life.

loveNlight to both.

Gabi

mukuka said...

This article touches everyone, for there is not a single human being who has not experienced fear before. I still feel a lot of fear, especially when it comes to my career. sometimes we want to take that risk but look at our family and resist change. But a time comes for all of us when we need to over come that fear and make that change. it is up to us to realize the time has come. thanks gabriela. nice one.

Gabriela Abalo said...

Mukuka,
So true that there is none human being free of fear. I wrote this article as a way to remind myself the reasons why I should not be afraid of going after my dreams.
The need to feel safe keeps us prisoners and unfulfilled.
Sometimes the change we want to make affects our family, so we hesitate and step back. When the current situation is unbearable and is making us unhappy, we should take the risk and go for a change. Everybody will benefit at the end.
You talked about your career and I understand your concern, if you make the move maybe you will not be able to support your family any longer, so you freeze and stop trying. Well, in such situation I always ask myself: What if you are to be retrenched today? How will you handle it? The main difference is that in one you are the decision maker while on the other one you are slapped by the circumstances. Usually that kind of analysis works for me, I’m also standing on a cross-roads, waiting just for the right time to make my move. But on the meantime I try to make the most out of my current situation.

There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear. ~George S. Patton


loveNlight
Gabi

Anonymous said...

Garb,

Your topic on fear has touched my heart. It has filled me with hope for the things i want to do and remorse for thye things i missed out.By and large, it has opened up a new horizon for me to act and act whenever a glimmer of opportunity presents itself.

This great and highly inspirational writing, i have learnt alot.

Mulomba Hameja

Gabriela Abalo said...

Hameja,
I'm glad to know that the post has encouraged you to search for opportunities and defy fear!


Thank you Hameja for such encouraging words.

loveNlight
Gabi

Mista'Peo is said...

Thank you...your flow is beautiful

Love
Hildegarde

horas y horas de viajar said...

querida prima, es absolutamente delicioso y reparador leer tu blog. cada artículo con las palabras justas. hemos hablado largo y tendido de los miedos y seguiremos haciéndolo. te leo y te sigo cada día. gracias. miss ya

Gabriela Abalo said...

Welcome to the blog Hildegarde!! I think I recognize you from Paulo Coelho's blog, I enjoy reading your comments and contributions. I'm so glad to see you in my little literary corner.


Thank you for joining the blog.

loveNlight
Gabi

Gabriela Abalo said...

Querida Fabi,
Qué bueno verte por estos lares y saber que me seguís! Como ya sabes mi corazón dicta las palabras que mi alma le susurra. El compartirlo contigo y todo el que pase por el blog me hace súper feliz. Cada vez que alguien me dice que se ha inspirado leyendo uno de mis artículos mi corazón reboza de felicidad.

Muchas gracias por estar!

loveNlight
Gabi

Anonymous said...

It is true that most of the times we have the fear of the unknown such that we miss great opporturnities. When our friends who took the risk make it, then we we start to envy them or say they are luck and yet the same opportunity had brought itself to you and you failed to make a decision. From today onwards, I will make sure I take at least one or two risks in a year and see how I will fair.

cleo

Gabriela Abalo said...

Cloe,
go for it, take your risks while enjoying the challenge. Life is full of opportunities, it is up to us to grab them by the tail and make them workable.

"There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them" ~Andre Gide

Thank you for stopping by.

loveNlight
Gabi

Jay said...

Great post. I've been taking steps to do things out of my comfort zone. But not too far.

Gabriela Abalo said...

Jay,
a step is a step, whatever small it is. So, well done and keep stepping out of your comfort-zone.
I'm glad to know you enjoyed the article.

loveNlight
Gabi

Tag said...

It is good remembering that fear is only a chimera. We give or fears power by by not facing them. This does not mean that dangers and risk is not present, they may be but we have the courage to face and overcome. Thank you. You have much wisdom.
Mike.

Gabriela Abalo said...

Thank you Tag,
true, risks and dangers are always present but I agree with you, we do have the courage to overcome them.

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. "


loveNlight
Gabi

Maria José Centeno said...

Hola Gabi,
Me ha gustado mucho tu escrito;
pero si pienso es un tema muy amplio a tratar.
Depende claro el punto de vista con que le vemos a los miedos y los retos de la vida.
yo sigo aprendiendo.

Besos

Gabriela Abalo said...

Tienes toda la razon Maria, todos somos diferentes y le tenemos miedos a diferentes cosas, porque todos aprendemos (o recordamos) de forma diferente. Such is the beuty of human nature!
A los miedos hay que hacerles frente, no debemos permitir que controlen nuestra vida.

loveNlight
Gabi

Life & Sport Pa Zed said...

I love it...I am inspired to do several things I have been chicken to do. I just want to "BE" fearless and go out in to the world and do what dream to do. I think this is the feeling of most of your readers :) Nice one yet again and timely too!!

Gabriela Abalo said...

I'm glad to hear that!! I know you can do it. You are going to bring change to Zambia and do great things... follow your dreams no matter what!!

loads of loveNlight to you.

Gabi