Thursday, September 9, 2010
Promise
I stare at you from afar,
Like a thief I hide and survey
I wonder how happy you truly are
I muse how devoted you really are
I ponder how you can live like that...
Without a thought I walked away from my hiding place
No longer aware that I may be seen
I get closer to the window that is keeping you away
Looking through and devouring your image
Hating the disguising clothes hiding your exquisite figure
With rebel tears running through my face
I hold my urge to call your name
I’m no longer begging, imploring or pleading
I’m done with all that!
I’m going away
Leaving you in my past
and by no means, coming back
But then again I know I should return
To steal a glance every Thursday at noon
when you are by the window praying to your God
while sending your forbidden love to me
You kept your promise
But I can’t keep mine
The pain and loneliness is unbearable
knowing that we will never be together
You chose your God
I just choose my freedom…
© Gabriela Abalo
Written for Magpie Tales – #31
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36 comments:
To be so much in love, it hurts but, freedom's the right choice...to try to know the other..what a very good poem!!
This is haunting. One I will revisit time and again.
to be shut off from earthly love is not a situation that i can envision for myself.
A well-writen, passionate, personal(?) poem.
I loved its tenderness.
Very well written, I am far from anti religion but I am against extremes.
struggle to be free,
that's true in reality.
lovely tale!
love lost and discarded-how sad for the person standing outside.
Wonderful poem I finished it saying WOW.
Maybe the person through the window just chose their own view of freedom, too. And their own view of love.
You write in English very well.
read it twice, could read it a million more...
perfectly complex and imaginably real emotion evoking a strong contemplation...
that is very thought provoking.
All-in-all, I love this! one more read before i go... :)
also, reminds of a quote i heard earlier today (paraphrase) "You've reached your first fill of youth, you've come back, unfulfilled yet want to come back for more"
So intriguing...your words are still tumbling around in my mind. I'm curious as to the rest of the tale...but maybe that was the intention. Wonderfully written.
Well done, well done! A fine Magpie - deep and provocative.
Nice writing!
Amazing poem.. very sad.. a love unrequited pains more than a failed one...
Oooh ... very good!
well said. the lovers chose not each other, but their own paths and thus must part, or communicate through the glass.
Sensitive and insightful. Tragic that some of us must choose between love and God when if asked, the Godly will assert that "God is love".
A generation ago, I faced just such a dilemma and chose freedom too but at great cost and a lingering feeling of injustice done.
This is a super thought provoking piece. Nice Magpie, Bisous, Love and Light, Sender
having to come to grips with the choices of others can be so hard...and makes you wonder if they weighed your sacrifice along with theirs...nice mag!
Gabriela this is heartfelt and beautiful...a wonderful magpie!
:-)
powerful words!
a riveting photo, and mesmerizing poem. i'll come back to this one.
Oh, a passionate Magpie! I live four miles from a nun convent and shop at their store sometimes. Now I will never think of them in quite the same way!
intruiging story
I am loving seeing what people have done with this photo!
That's powerful, Gabriela. The heart-wrenching choices we must make in life seem manifestly unjust. Freedom means a lot to me too. [Is there an unwanted t in not here: I’m not longer begging...?]
This speaks volumes of sacrifice. What is necessary for a greater cause.
Lovely take.
Great write...there are so many kinds of love...here there is not compromise between the two...nice magpie...bkm
Very good. Your short stories seem to reveal that you have a surprisingly more complex view of the world than I would have thought when I first started reading you.
This was so well written and so thought provoking.
I often wonder about the lovers and others of those who enter the religious life have left behind.
How did they respond to that break-up?
I'm leaving you for God.
What a discussion that would be!
Rene
Beautiful and thought-provoking--thank you so much for this!
wonderfully written tale, intriguing and thought provoking of complex love and choices.
a sad departure, in a beautiful sense...
very refreshing writing...
Thanks for sharing with Jingle Poetry.
all the best!
xxx
Torn between two loves is a hard challenge, and a very sad ending for the one not chosen. Very well done.
freedom instead of lOVE... but at the end everyone wats love... nice poem
With love, sometimes comes the pain of separation...and ofcourse, the burden of choices!
Beautifully stated in this poem, Gabriela... It was sad, but lovely!
Thanks for linking it up to Poetry Potluck!!!
love the ending..
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