Port - Weekend reflections # 58

Puerto del Buceo - Montevideo - Uruguay

For more stunning reflections go to: Weekend Reflections

Skywatch Friday, Season 4, Episode 16

Magic Sunset

"What humbugs we are, who pretend to live for Beauty, and never see the Dawn!"

  ~Logan Pearsall Smith

"Adopt the pace of nature:  her secret is patience."

  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

" I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through

which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in."

  ~George Washington Carver

"The poetry of the earth is never dead."

  ~John Keats

Visit Skywatch Friday for more stunning skies :)

Magpie 38

“Hi, I’m back!” she said looking at Annie’s face with relief. The lack of answer didn’t bother her at all, and without an invitation, she sat at the edge of the stone and then resumes the conversation.
“She kicked me out of the house again, this is the third time she’s done that” - she pauses and after taking a deep breath continues saying - “I don’t know what to do, I’m tired of fighting! I don’t know how long I will be able to stay strong…” the tone of her voice reveals the emotional distress she is going through.

A warm and tender breeze kisses her cheek and hair as if trying to ease her sorrows. The silence is only broken by the birds singing from a nearby cypress tree. Looking directly into Annie’s eyes, she asks - “Why does she hate me so much? Why can’t she love me the same way she loves my brothers? What did I do wrong?” - with anger she fights the tears trying to show up on her face, as crying is not permitted on a strong girl like her.
“Yesterday, despite the rain and the cold she locked me out of the house and probably got soundly asleep in a few minutes, with no concern for my well-being. I heard one of my brothers trying to plead with her, but then gave up as he was almost shown the way out too. After an hour of crying out and kicking the door with no results I headed to Tory’s house, she always offers me shelter. But you have to see her face, she can’t hide the compassion she feels for me….” - Her brown eyes can’t disguise the sadness apprehending her, which contradicts the hard expression of her face. Her eyes are the window to her soul while her face is a well learned masquerade to conceal her real feelings.

She is only fourteen but looks older than she really is, years of suffering and emotional abuses have made a dent in her. She is being considered a wild and aggressive child by her schoolmates and teachers, making it so difficult for her to have any friends. Loneliness is her only companion, but sometimes the aloneness becomes too heavy to abide, so she comes to see Annie and the others for companionship and conversation. They always listen and never charge or criticize her, but she misses some kind of advice or guidance from them, after all, they have lived longer and had more experience. She knows there is nothing she can do to halt their unbreakable silence, but she is consoled but the inner knowledge that they listen and care.
“Today, Tory told me that my mother can’t continue doing this to me, that she is breaking the law and that the authorities can take me away from her. She wants to report her, so my mother can start taking better care of me. I begged her not to do it, because I’m afraid I may be sent to an orphanage… You know, my mom keeps telling me she will do it and I believe her.” She pauses and takes a deep breath in, as if trying to grow bigger and stronger. She doesn’t want to start crying, if she does, then she may never be able to stop, so she keeps breathing deep until the urge to cry is fully controlled.

After a while she speaks again, “Tory felt sorry for me so she promised not to do it this time, but she will if my mother does it again. The problem is that I know I will be kicked out again; any mistake will be used by my mother as a pretext to fight me, she will not stop until I’m gone… She did the same to my older brother, she kicked him out of the house when he was just thirteen, and never allowed him to come back.
I have nowhere to go, if she kicks me out again I will have to sleep by the door, despite the weather conditions and the time I have to spend outside. That will be the only way to fight her back, she will have to take me in sooner or later, as she will not want the neighbors to tell my stepfather what she is doing to me…” she looks around and after a short silence she asks: “Annie, did your mother love you or was she like mine? Aren’t mothers supposed to care and tender for their children? Why doesn’t she love me? I really want to know…” – as expected she doesn’t get any answer, but that doesn’t bother her as she is feeling better. Being able to talk about her troubles really eases her sorrow.
She keeps looking at Annie’s face, as if searching for answers, then she says - “Ok, is getting late, I must start heading back to hell. Today my stepfather is getting back home, so my mother will pretend this never happened, instead she will complain about how much she had to do and how unhelpful and disobedient I am. After all, this is part of her master plan to get rid of me one day!” - Saying that, she slowly began to rise up from the stone that she was sitting on, she then bends so as to be able to reach Annie’s picture and kiss her goodbye. “Annie, do you think she will ever love me or care for me?”
She doesn’t wait for an answer, once again she breaths in deeply and slowly, filling herself with strength and willpower, the one she will need to face her mother’s rage. Then with determination she starts walking away from Annie’s grave and the ones around her, until she gets out of the cemetery.

………

Over twenty years have passed, and I still remember my afternoons at the local graveyard, the only place I used to feel at home. During that time I seriously contemplated the idea of joining my dead friends as an easy way to escape, but I guess my warrior spirit keep me from doing it.
I was told so many times and even read in many books that the people that harm us the most are the ones that teach us the most too. I believe that is true but sometimes it is still hard to digest, especially if the people who hurt you are your closest relatives.
From a physical level, I still feel the pain and the emotional abandonment, while the same question still bothers me sometimes: “Why doesn’t she love me?”
From a spiritual level I do appreciate the teachings that help me to become who I’m today, the challenge was rough but I had managed. Today I’m free and full of love, I have learnt to love myself just the way I am and to love the rest of the world the same way, just the way they are… including her!

© 2010 Gabriela Abalo

I'm re-posting this story from the archives for: Magpie Tales - click on the link for more amazing writing,  

Absent

Silver smoke blurring your vision

Noisy TV distracting your mind

Shallow books keeping you busy

Detached, isolated, standing apart

Unable to forgive or forget the past

Bitterness poisoning your feelings

Incapable of showing love

Absent from life, inaccessible

Unaware of your greatness

Master of pain and resent

Forever a victim you remain

Weeping past events   

Detesting life all the way   

For what you will never repent

Master of disguise

Never showing feelings

Always wearing your iron mask

Books and TV help you forget the life you hate

Smoking keeps your monsters away

Always longing for your deserting mum

For you always felt “not good enough”

Constantly grieving the only man you ever loved

For he was killed on your wedding day

Forever resenting the unwanted child

For whom you married the wrong guy

Master of revenge

An eye for an eye  

Always haunted by the past

The world has to endure your pain

No matter what

Motherhood couldn’t mend your shattered heart

For you stayed loyal to your acrimony

Eternal victim of your bitterness

Afraid of abandonment, deserting everybody

© Gabriela Abalo

"Ultimately, the source of happiness and joyfulness is within ourselves". Dalai Lama

Poem submitted to One Shot Wednesday - click on the provided link to enjoy more wonderful poets!

Skywatch Friday, Season 4, Episode 15

Every day is Earth Day

 Sunrise

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For the Perfect Poet Award

Awesome!!! I've been awarded with "The Perfect Poet Award"   :)

Thank you Jingle, and all the other wonderful poets!!

Silence

Silence, please be quiet

Pay attention and listen carefully

To the silence within

So many things going through my head

An analytical mind doesn’t rest

Hardly trying to silence all the cracking voices

Asking and answering concurrently

As if everything should have a logical answer

For the mind to take it easy

Silence, please be quiet

Pay attention and listen carefully

To the silence within

I must be careful with what I think or say

As I know that thoughts and words create

But regrets don’t undo and sorrow isn’t a fine ally

Silence, please be quiet

Pay attention and listen carefully

To the silence within

I don’t like what I see and hear

The silence is too loud to bear

Stubbornly I kept quietly observing  

The mind attempts to complain

But contentment appears

After that there is nothing to fear

For silence becomes a friend and nice place to be

Silence, please be quiet

Pay attention and listen carefully

To the silence within

© Gabriela Abalo

As for Week 31, I nominate Rashmi Jayakrishnan for the Perfect Poet Award.


Visit more awesome poets at : Promising poet's parking lot

Be and let be

Mirror, mirror of my soul

Please tell me why you howl

Every time I look at you

Why are you playing games with me?

I dislike what you reveal

Please reflect only nice things

Just the ones I like to see

Mirror, mirror of my soul

Let’s create a better world

Just by changing our approach

When reflecting what we see

Let’s get undressed

Throw away our prejudices

Tear up intolerance

Erase discrimination

Don’t stop until we are naked

Mirror, mirror of my soul

Why did you stop reflecting?

 © Gabriela Abalo

Written for Magpie Tales – #37

Released

One moment of pride

Unmasked the disgraceful lust

Releasing the auto imposed sloth

Impetus envy and gluttony were the driving force

Unleashing the wrath hidden within

Greedily buried and contained

I became an outcast

A skeptical sinner

Forever to walk on my own

Condemned to eternal damnation

Unless I repent

But I am just a human

Envious of the wind that can flow and be

Proud of who I am

Lusting for freedom

Sloth to follow the rules

Gluttonously enjoying each jiffy

Reacting with rage to the auto impose limits

Avariciously living

I am a human

An unleashed dreamer

Fully living

© Gabriela Abalo

This poem was inspired by Writer’s Island and Poetry Potluck prompting themes. Read more wonderful writers and poets by clicking on the links.

Poem also submitted to One Shot Wednesday - click on the provided link to enjoy more wonderful poets!

Water - Weekend reflections # 56

 Crab - Arroyo Maldonado - La Barra - Uruguay

Child playing - Atlantic Ocean - Piriapolis - Uruguay

Check more amazing reflections at: Weekend reflections

Skywatch Friday, Season 4, Episode 14

 

Same place - different days

Rio de la Plata - Montevideo - Uruguay

 

Go to http://skyley.blogspot.com/, to see who else posted, today.

Too late

Didn’t make the front page

Another statistic  

Just one more fact

A name added on the list

A casualty soon to be forgotten

Yes I do…

I said while soaked in tears

Not for love but fear

Pain kept me enslaved

Fright left me empty

In and out I was broken

A lethal kiss sealed the deal

You in black, I in white

Predator and prey

Gambling with death

Keeping the act until the end

I could have asked for help

I should have said it wasn’t right

I could have walked away

I should have… I could have…

But I was afraid

And blamed myself

Weakness and regrets aren’t the answer

Your rage was my punishment  

As I keep saying “I do”

After each punch and kick

I never fought back

Only crawled and cried

Overwhelming shame

Betraying the self

I let you smash my self-esteem

Believing everything you said

Detaching myself from life

Was my only escape

Incapable of asking for help

I determined our fate  

Things could have been different

But now is too late

To change our destiny

To get things in place

I shouldn’t have said “I do”

I could have said “I don’t”

I should have… I could have…

But I was afraid

© Gabriela Abalo

Check more poems and amazing post at: One Shot Wednesday and Magpie Tales

When a door closes a window opens: No matter what, there is always a way out – as long as we are alive it is never too late

I dedicate this poem to all the people who in one way or another are being abused. Domestic violence/abuse can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Men are sometimes abused by their partners, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women or children.

The only way to break the cycle of domestic violence is to take action — and the sooner the better.

• ·         Talk to someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, relative, doctor or other close contact.

• ·         Call a counseling or mental health center. Counseling and support groups for women in abusive relationships are available in most communities. Be cautious of advice to seek couples or marriage counseling. If violence has escalated to the point that you're afraid, counseling isn't adequate.

• ·         Create a security plan:

o   Call a domestic violence hot-line for advice. Make the call at a safe time — when the abuser is not around — or from a friend's house or other safe location.

o   Pack an emergency bag that includes items you'll need when you leave, such as extra clothes and keys. Hide it or leave the bag with a friend or neighbor. Keep important personal papers, money and prescription medications handy so that you can take them with you on short notice.

o   Know exactly where you'll go and how you'll get there, even if you have to leave in the middle of the night.

If you want to know more on how to ask for help click here